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leaving, loving and arrival

Updated: May 15, 2023

milky way; galaxy

Today's my last day at terrealuma for a while. It is always a wrench but this time it feels a bit different, almost as if the more I feel the stress of imminent departure, the more strongly I feel my arrival into the land.

Last night's full moon took me aback (yes, this post was actually written a little while ago!). The whole place was bathed in silver light, my shadow was sharp as ink on the ground. In front of me the garden, both the flourishing veg and the flourishing weeds, were bathed in it, and beyond the greenhouse structure, rising like an empty rib cage, the real mist started. Thick grey swathes of it, behind which stood the dark shadows of three trees. Above the three trees, an expanse of sky within which was the moon surrounded by a rainbow, and scattered, occasional stars.

The camera didn't work, or I didn't know the proper settings. I wanted to share this moment but it wasn't to be – at least not in the sense of reproducing or representing it. The whole thing was like standing in a three dimensional painting. But I just have words.

In the morning, there were spider webs. Mist, and glitter.

Maciek's immersed in finishing the apparently infinite heart sutra track, and I'm outside, painting, listening to the birds and an interview with Taoist teacher the Barefoot Doctor, who'll soon be joining us in our upcoming crowdfunding campaign.The painting looks like the place, all lush greens, black ink and gold, with spheres.

One thing that Barefoot says strikes me. It's about struggling - and how unnecessary it is. Thinking that I don't want to leave here falls into that category for sure. What he says is something like this – whatever the struggle is, say to that fact you're struggling with, to the thing you don't want, the thing you find unacceptable, I love you, I love you, and the pain goes away.

So... I'm loving leaving and loving returning. I'll be back soon.

Sarah Luczaj, PhD

therapist, writer, artist, reiki master, creative regenerator and co-founder of terrealuma.

offers online reiki healing/chanting sessions, here

sarah luczaj

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